How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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