I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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