why do cheetos always look like penises
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
