i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
