omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize