You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
