member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
