oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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