nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize