I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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