and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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