Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
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We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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