Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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