Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize