i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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