Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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