I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize