I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
