I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
and you fell through a lawn chair
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize