so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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