I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
