it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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