Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
