ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
