Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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