Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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