im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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