If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
