While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
