That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
