How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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