Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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