1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
