Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Holy shit dude........stairs
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
