I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
