She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
