don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
