omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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