I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize