The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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