i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
