Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
