how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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