do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
