there's paper in my vomit.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
