It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
