I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
