In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
