got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
