He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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