I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.