I am puke
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME