he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She even gives head with a lisp.
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I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
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Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.