i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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