dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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