I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
