She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
