Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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