i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
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It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
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There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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