he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
