Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's official drugs can't kill me
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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