Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize