We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
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if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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